Those little hands out there every year make a wish list and Santa has never turned him down
So this year I got tempted too and dear Santa, here is what I wish.
But before you read any further let me explain you that some of the wishes might seem little unrealistic but they are all straight from my HR desk and you have empathize with my job where we are expected are expected to deliver things yesterday. Over a decade into being an HR professional, I thought this is a right year to seek some help and try my luck too, who knows you might turn them in real. Well I was always told to ‘Be Optimistic’.
So here are my three wishes for 2016
First one is that I wish to have human mixer and some skill potions. So next time when I have to hire someone basis the ‘Rockstar Requirement’ all I need to do is add just the right proportion of the skill potions in the mixer and create a magical resource who is almost a Jeanie and off course works for FREE!! ( Don’t smile, this is a genuine need)
Well the next one should be easy . How about your gifting me a money minting machine to help me print real money? So during appraisals even if the budget and my all the other matrices say otherwise I can give every one salary appraisals at par. So what if someone is a good performer and other is average or the organization’s profits are not great, after all being a good HR means making sure employees get paid well during appraisals. Rest is just a process which no one is bothered anyways L
And yes last but not the least, can I have a 3 months prior notification of a resignation which might be coming up? So I have enough time to react before the real reaction hits my inbox and somehow reading human brain hasn’t been easy for me. At least it would help me a lot in prediction, analytics and most importantly man power planning and resource allocation.
C’mon is this too much to ask? I thought Santa can grant any wish, at least this is what I have been told and I have been passing the confidence to my next generation too. In fact if you step in my HR shoes you would know how real these expectations are, but yes they just are not Human!!
Wishing you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.